the contradictions we suffer

if i do not shout, no one will hear me
ILOVEYOU.
yet, when i whisper, only you understand me
iloveyou.

food for thought

people are dirty beings. governed by emotion, driven by feelings
and forced by impulse.


and how can one live with themselves after such dirt ?

the beauty of it all.

after reading a couple of posts of a friend's blog of mine who's going through a rough patch in her life, i couldn't help but wonder about the things she speaks of. something we can all relate to.

all i can indirectly tell her within my own understanding is :

we love to love because we are only lacking in love ourselves, and when we are in love, we love with all our hearts, but once we lose love, we also lose ourselves, yet in the lost of love, we are always to find love; in the strangest of places and most appropriate of times.

and as we are human. we wait. we cannot chase the universe.
we wait for love to happen. but if u refuse to believe, what's the use of hoping ?

best advice 2010

the best advice you could ever give your ass-hole friend or even your ass hole friend giving you would be to

get your shit together.

driving.

grab the keys, let's hit the road, and wind down our windows.
travel in speed, cause a scene and leave behind our shadows.

turn it up, live it out, without a doubt, regrets are never found.
and when it's night, without a light, still it's right, we will find soother ground.


i will go anywhere with you because where my head finds solace
and heart beats next to yours, is where i call home.

waiting

we're people and we're always in the process of waiting.
everyday, we wait. every event is a process of waiting.

we wait for the shower. we wait for the bus. we wait for arrivals. we wait for food.
see, everything that happens has to happen through 'waiting' - one way or another.

what happens then, when we cease to wait ?
I think the most appropriate answer would be that

we truly miss out on knowing what we were really waiting for.

the wolves at the door.

please go away.

and shut the door.
i don't really need you here right now.

without u

looking back, what they say is now seemingly true.
and i'm glad it found itself a wall to crash on.

cause, i'm in a happier place now.

cause we are designed to be

i cannot promise you that the sun will rise tomorrow,

but i can promise you that i'll still love you even if it doens't.

let's go

the reason it's called an adventure:

you're afraid yet still want to know what's on the other side.

between me and the setting moon.

played songs by animals unknown , singing things we were only made to dream about.
and followed by shadows we were made to fear between sheets.

yet, in stillness of that night, without the sight and sound of wind,
you find the moon setting between that array of stars; forming thousands upon thousands.

like satellites, they orbit between the clouds, avoiding catastrophe.


and here i am, under them, between them; beside you.

no gravity.

and so she screamed, i love you.
hands clasped;

if i say anything else, it would break this moment.
so, i'll just shut up. . .

and let my lips do the talking.

hey you.

next time, it won't be, let me take you home


it'll be let's go home.


i couldn't have said it better.

mask of a

some of us put a mask on a daily basis without ever wondering, why or how.

some of us live with a mask on a daily basis.


who are you, today ?

when in doubt, shout.

we are constantly lied to and about the ever-changing and ever-manipulative concept of beauty.


we're really more beautiful than we think.
if you fail to believe, you're still living in their lies.

a note to self.

and they sang, all you need is love.

and we will say, it was only a song.
then, why do you hate me so much ?

and i can't believe it's morning already

for all that you are , i will love you.

for all that you feel less, i will love you more.

pornograph.

there's something mysterious and fascinating abour pornography.

the way a woman interacts with you and how a man is depicted as a god.

at the same time, it destroys you. because you're not god.

and that woman will and can never be your woman.


and once u have been touched, it will never feel the same ever again.

truth be told. i'm listening

it's only when you're dead and gone that you realised - in an off body motion - who gave or didn't gave a shit.

i can't wait to see the day; who came; who left and who bothered.

hello again.

if there was a way to tear apart the skies, then my heart would bleed your name as a rainbow.

and i know it wouldn't hurt as much as how you had left me 5 days ago.

funny enough, we've all been there.

it's funny how ex-lovers first turn into thoughts, then flashbacks, then memories, and then shadows, and then into almost something forgotten.

truth be told. that's the way the world works.

life's lessons learned

life was never designed to be fair.
nor were we ever made to play by the rules

drunkards

i think people make the worst mistakes they'd hardly ever regret when they're drunk. shame on you; shame on me

hohoho.

if at this point of time, you've reckoned that you've discovered and understood all of life, through your experiences and philosophies, then you might as well give up living.

there's always more to life.

sweet surrender

i'm falling, but it's ok because i've got the clouds between my lips.
and you at the edge of my finger tips.

i'm falling, and it's alright, just as long as you're here with me tonight.
we'll catch on to stars and move them as we like.

this is my sweet surrender. i'm falling yet i am not afraid.
simply 'cause as we descend, i'll have you till this ends.

if you forgot 2

if you forgot that confidence equates sexy, you've been missing out a lot.

if you forgot 1

if you forgot what it was to smile, turn your world upside down.

joke of the day.

if you tend to forget what makes you happy, look beyond, around and beside you.

they make the difference seem clearer.
and the world a little brighter.

hi there it's me again.

there were days when life was easier said than done.
where have those days gone ?

the next time we all do this, we will have be bringing our kids along.

a brand new day. we walk into life.

death can be a beautiful, colourful, peaceful and hopeful event,

amidst all the things we perceive it to actually be.

it really depends on the way your heart, mind and heart take in what you see.


do you see a corpse ? a body ?



or a spirit set free ?

free falling

allow me to free fall and never touch the ground.

i wouldn't mind the vertigo and the head spin.

allow me to catch the wind and embrace the clouds in between my fingers.
i want to ride the sunrise and rest on the sunsets.
amongst the rain, i will be refreshed.

sweet joy.

till death do us part.

to my brother, keep your head high and your heart be still

if you laugh, i will laugh aside you.
but if you find remorse, i will seek comfort for you.
and if you cry, i will cry beside you.
and in time of mourning, i will mourn with you.

a woman to her fellow man, a mother to her sons, and a wife to a husband.
i have seen love at the very tail end of a promise ; a promise to the very last breath.
a promise destined by chance; secured by fate and strengthened by faith.

i am deeply moved. though, i am truly broken at the same time.


when the night is over, we will rejoice in the morning.

good day,

good morning, good afternoon, good evening, love.

wherever, whatever time, and however you're feeling,

i was, am , and will be thinking of you.

there was this way you said , hello .

there's something about you not being here that really takes a part of me, apart.

- comeback to me

weeks end,

i'm willing to rip this heart into two, if only i know it will remain in a safe place with you.

a place only where you and i know of, a place where the world must not see.
for this world is a cruel and damned place, only dreams remind us of its goodness.

yet, we find paradise in strange places and foreign lands.
and you say, it's perfect when it's just us.

angeer.

what's the use of your philosophies if you don't have the balls to live them ?

before this, i.

in a few hours, u will leave.
we've exchanged ourselves and have left pieces of life with each other.

Jesus said, never will i leave you nor forsake you.
i will promise the same.


till the next time our eyes meet and lips find its place.
PEACE OUT YOW.

biodiversity.

it may seem to look different with its traits:

colour
texture
smell
shape

but inside,
it's all the same.

God sent me a postcard last night.

it was sent for me, meant for me, designed for me.
it came with a picture of heaven splitting open
of the clouds turning into bridges and light passing through in an array of dances.
in different colours of blue, orange and white.

that was heaven splitting open.
thank you for delivering that postcard, Vee.

this picture will share a thousand secrets

if ever i go blind, i will remember your face - the one to which i remember falling in love with.
i've remembered the conture, the features and angles; i will remember you.

the wonder.

is it harder to say i love you, or easier to say goodbye ?

if

if it didn't cost you anything to give your heart to another, then i guess, it wasn't worth giving away in the first place.

summer romancing.

hello, this is goodbye.
tell me you love me and don't lie.

i'll be here till the next summer romancing.
hello, this is goodbye.

:)

nothing better than a smile on my face before sleep.

i miss you guys :)

this is not love.

in co-existing, it is not love that binds, it is understanding.

in arguments, it is not love that resolves, it is compromise.

in hurt, it is not love that heals, it is forgiveness.

in misunderstanding, it is not love that rectifies, it is humility.

yet, love reminds us of these things.

the city

my city is on fire. from the inside deep. the people are self combusting.

and very soon, we will all find the ash within our hearts.
and coal upon our feet.
and the amber in our hands.

all i can ask from You now, is a little rain.
a little rain. a drizzle if it's too much to ask.

Let there be rain. How i miss you.

painful pleasures.

the good, the bad, the ugly.
the pain, the pleasure, the serendipity.

the humour, the tears, the fears.
we'll get through it all, one by one, day by day. moment by moment.

in your response.

it doens't matter what you become, as long as it's you who become.

i wrote this to myself, for you.

in this silence, i will love you.

as between this abscence, i will think of you.

in this distance, i will find a way to you

and through this time, i will be here with you - in heart, mind, spirit, and soul.

Allah itu Kasih.

today is Sunday.
it is a new day.
today, we are inspired by change and driven by hope.

let those who hate continue to burn physical places, slander and stir violence.
as for us, we will continue to love. we will continue to forgive. and continue to abide.

we were taught to love our enemies and do good to those who persecute us.

we will love you.