i couldn't sleep.

i remember the old black piano. ivory in keys. it was placed there all these years.
i knew it was in its space for a reason. for whatever it was. i never truly knew.

it's beyond time now, where wolves, ghost, angels and demons come to fight.
to do battle when slumber finds mortal skin.

yet, this old piano. this old black piano stands. it places itself by this wall, where its ivory keys met mortal hands; amidst the fighting of angels and demons.

and with harmony and tunes in sync with melodies that could only come from the dead, that old black piano played. and played. and played. it played.

and there he was. shadowed beneath lights stricken by shadows.
he played. and played. until sorrows became unknown to him.
until he couldn't play anymore.
there was a song inside of him. waiting to come out
and it did for sure; and to none of its melodies did any mortal ears come to heed.
by only demons and angels. he played only for them.
and now, those melodies, lost. because you can only play such keys once.
and they are gone forever.
that moment spawned between time. between slumber and wake.
between ivory keys of black and white.

between here and now.
that moment was captured.
and if only demons and angels could hear.
they would have ceased battle.
and made peace.
and allow us sweeter dreams.

I've always contemplated the idea of time, relativity and all of its shortcomings.
i'm no Einstein, but I don't think a day is complete without you.

there truly never is enough time.

kawan

the idea of giving advice is truly hypocritical because we never really do ourselves justice.

however, if there was one thing i could say to each and everyone of you, it would spear with these words:

never give yourself up in being a friend. you're always needed.

i missed u

if this heart found itself disparate and overwhelmed with demons of fear.
i would tremble.

yet, these feet will stand on solid ground.
search for strength deep.
and turn this heart into spirit.
one which is filled with love, hope and joy.


and then, there is that familiar laughter, that reoccurring smile and dream dazed eyes.
which i remember - of whom i fell in love with.

it's amazing how you're amazing.

in your heartbreak, i will be your sorrow.
now, that will make this picture fit.

hi all

i think you have to die a couple of times until you realise that you're alive.
it's the same thing as dying; until you choose to see that you're living.

angels.

i think the closest form of angels we can possibly find in our world today do not fly on wings nor glow in spectrum's of light.

they are merely ordinary people with pure intentions with hands and feet.

i don't think the many times you attempt to see each other during the holidays that counts as much as the time spent away between each other - amongst the crowd or being found in silence that truly defines the entity, that is us.

my city has become less without itself; less without colour as it has found to be less without you.
when you find your return, please bring home those familiar colours we used to paint life with.
including mine.

to you prreople

so many of you can list the many problems that lie with this world
yet, so few of you can actually provide solutions to it.

ss

there are numerous ways for a heart to break.
and for each and every way it does,
it breaks for you.

the mess of me

you have taken these deep things of the heart and made them yours.
although they were never yours to be taken in the first place.
yet, in all things, you have to reach out and make them yours until the very end.

always yours.

if you wake up tomorrow, and you remember that i loved you yesterday
you can sleep tonight knowing that nothing has changed.

with red eyes

i think that there's just a little bit too much hurt in this world.
the kind that cuts deep, the kind that destroys lives, the kind that lasts till your dying breath.

that's all possible. that's all inevitable.


but, there's this kind of strength, with undying hearts and red eyes.
a kind of miracle. a kind of song we sing, the kind which last beyond our dying day.

the kind which carries us through storms, the kinda that leads us into light. the kind of laughter in the midst of your bullshit.

that's the kind of life we aim for.
that's how you want to live before you die.

langue

you can always tell me to shut up. to be silenced. to be still. to go away.

but you can never keep me from these words. you can never halt my writings for you, on you, to you.

you can never silence this heart, as much as you can silence these lips.


iloveyou.

i think you have to keep on loving until you cannot love anymore. and then, love takes over.

very much so how you must seek out love until it falls into you.

what if we changed the way the world worked.
have we ever questioned things like sleep ?
like the general discourse of how we as people find slumber when the day turns into night .

why are we designed that way ?
how are we designed that way ?
what if the world operated in reverse - where we find our days as our nights and vice versa.

way back home

if i ever get lost, i'll find this path way back into your eyes.

and find rest in this heart.

and when a lie implodes, it explodes through truth.
and the truth shall set us free.

it shall also make people look idiots
and break hearts - often times, more towards the liar.

if you want to keep me,
you can have me for all my knowledge of eternity
and never lose out on a single moment; to never deny yourself of that moment.

you have me.

this was our last picture taken together.

i'm missing out on you.

xo,

veev.

the wishing tree

the wishing tree makes these leaves fall
accompanied by its petals which force summer from winter and autumn from spring.

which make falls wishes and dreams into your palms
now, take such and make them yours .

when the pieces don't fit anymore

i remember you
from these days of mine from the past
where every fragment of you was meant to be pieced so intricately,
it took me years to put you together.
and when i finally did, i knew i had to take every piece down to undercover something new.

i remember
from my past .
these were our days, our nights, our drives.
our coffees, our meals, our dances.
and these are our lights, leading us to something closer than ever before.

i had wished the last thing my eyes caught before sleep was you.

now, i'm a wreck.

bedtime

come back to bed
and i will show you
mysteries about your body

and the ways you never knew it could move
when it was just only you and not us.

fanspeedhow

it is very human of us to proclaim and profess ownership.

a dominion and reign over things.

so, what does it make us to be when we choose to let go of such things ?

timeafter time

i miss you like this sky to the earth.

and how they are one.

saints

some of us have a dirty past. something of a monster which we've kept deep within.
sometimes, these monsters die; sometimes, they come back and roam.

some of us are authors, who write. re-write and constantly write their monsters.
and choose to make their present and future a different genre of that past.

sometimes, these monsters are you.

hello, stranger.

it feels like i've seen you before. a thousand lifetimes ago.
it's like i know what, how and who you are. yet, there's still so much to know.
that's how deep your soul is.
that's how deep i want to dive into.

and i'm going to take my time.

darling

and i know the deep things within your eyes.
and by that window, i will penetrate through this heart.
and attempt to fix the things that don't seem quite right, and repel the things that feel completely wrong.

and i will make my home there.

in this deep dark regions, you know it's true.
you know it's hiding, and you know you have to let it out.

haihz

we exist only in this state of language.
and we are bound by its structures - to some extent, if only you agree with some.

thus, as many ways to which you can say i love you, it can only, truly come down to one thing.
love is so many things. complicated by its surroundings.

let's keep it simple:

me and you.

when your sex becomes filthy and embodies disgust and regret, you were having sex. but not making love.

yet, what is sex and love ?
are they the same ?
are they even real ?

stare into this

today, i discovered that lies are not found in words, but in the eyes.

this embodiment

in your absence, you have embodied many things.

in my mind, you have become thoughts, visions, memories - embodied with fantasies of things which have passed and are yet to come.

in words, you have embodied yourself in your thoughts and desires which have transposed itself over the oceans into my heart.

in silence, you have embodied a state of peace which reminds me of how you have loved me.

vox. thoughts.

your fake eyelashes and pretty perked up finger nails tell stories.
the places you've been, the placed you like to go, and the life you like to live.

as the shoes that you own describe a deeper you. the things you wear showcase your hidden secrets - as much as we cannot see it on the outside.
it takes the mind to view you on the inside.


you are a pretty picture tainted by the sex of this world.

the fall of adam.

this air is distasteful .
it has the smell of piss.
the rotting smell of desire. of dirty men with dirty fantasies and tainted hands.
whose eyes have seen perversion at the greatest degree.

whose blood spills and makes the ground a deathbed.


hence, to live in the skies; among the clouds of desire.
making rainbows after rain clouds as bridges and lighting to guide this path.
to have the sun become my vortex in entering the days ins and outs.

i want to live high. we shall live high. carried by and on Seraphim.

freedom

your best move forward is taking two steps back and then flying.

for your broken heart.

this is life's darkest moments.
today, the shadow it casts a string of demons at your doorstep and within these walls, your own thoughts haunt and taunt you.

let there be daily bread, a light between shadows and dreams.
for in these ugliest times, there is something beautiful if we look beyond our eyes.
sometimes, we have to travel far to see it, sometimes, we just have to close our eyes.

Our God in Heaven. Make the rain pour itself upon us. Wash away what makes that pain so real.
For Your Love is Real. Your Love is Strong. Your Love is Everlasting.

pickachu.

there is a distinct beauty in every day.
for you, it would be the idea of falling in love, everyday. with the very same person.

i think you need more spirit than heart to love.
in your spirit, you find strength.
and then in your heart, you find love.

and in your mind, you obtain peace.
and on your feet, you find ground.
and through your fingers, you touch the clouds.

and in your eyes, you see completion.

little ms.starbucks.

hello.

do you remember that time when it rained. and i bought that umbrella.
just so i could pick you up from across the street to have you sit next to me ?
as much as i wanted to save you from the rain; i really wanted you to sit next to me. again.

stars

stars fell on me and i am blessed by God.
simple as that.

find me.

somedays, i think you can't help but trace back your steps and find that you left your heart right back at the beginning.

to that very first hello.
to that very first touch.
to that very first kiss.
to that very first tear.

and you choose to leave it there, knowing that it's right where it belongs.

a penny

i made a thousand wishes .
none of them came true.
that meant, i lost a thousand pennies.
and could possibly lose a thousand more; for a thousand more wishes if they were to come true.

yes, i forgot to mention,
i wished for something to complete me.

and i saw you with a penny in your palm.

could you have possible loved with a broken heart ?

when all things went wrong, and your eyes only saw the blackness of the sun,
and the air you thought u were breathing seemed like poison in your veins,

could you have possible loved me with a broken heart?

red, white, green. blue

you shelter yourself in your designer bags, shoes, clothes and cars.
as you make to believe that the world is made of these things.
you wait for the latest collection, the latest fashion and all those fundamental things.
you keep in mind, your next fuck. your next cellphone. your next cup of Starbucks.

you are caught up in your lifestyle. your endless pursuit of things you don't really need.
outside, you find those caught up in life; wondering when's the next meal, the next paycheck, the next bill.

you are your own culture.

yours./

i count the days backwards because they lead me back to the beginning.
with you.

come home soon. we miss you.

s

one of the reasons that we have today is so that we can talk about it tomorrow.
i want you to be here tomorrow.
don't give up. don't give in. don't let them see you bleed.

awakening.

have i shared this love with you lately ?
it's been a thought i've been dreaming about.
while on buses and trains. starring across windows on lamp posts and streets.
heading on from south to west; thinking to myself.. i think there's a lack of love in this world today.

so, let's find love. in the comfort of each other.
and possibly find love in the existence of strangers.

this empt.

imagine it being all a lie. a beautiful lie. a promise made forgotten. a promise emptied on fallacies.
and imagine that you didn't leave that tomb.
i wouldn't be writing this today, now.

this is as much a shit as i am, still you have loved me.
i will make you proud one day.

this april weather is marked with grey skies and rain.
it seems like the only thing that's real right now.

i think we tend to forget the part about loving justice and mercy after we walk out of that door of our homes.

to be

i have to admit that i have loved you more than myself sometimes.
and more than my brother
more than my sister.

and how truth strikes me to the bone.
i want to love more each day.

this time around, God. I want new eyes.
i want a fresh mind. to observe the things around me.
surrounded in new light.
i want these voices to cease. i want stillness, quiet and ease.

i want new light. i want to be blinded. i want to be refreshed. like being caught under the rain.
i want to be found on the hills and mountain top peaks.
to experience this moment's thrill.

i want to see and feel

little droplets of rain and the sounds you make on rooftops.
you remind me of the golden past.
how you remind me of this mixture of silver and wine.

how beautiful it would be to wake up to you.
into these sounds.
and drift back into sleep once again.