God will you inspire me

we are all destined for greater things. at different times. at different places.

one day or another could be another, yet remain significant for another.

we refuse to grasp this idea because we are viewing ourselves from someone else's eyes.
we see the world through their achievements and rewards.
we fall back and wonder - when will it be my turn ?

I am flesh, bones, and spirit.
I am destined for greater things.
I will not return to this earth void.

reminder.

there are so many things about the past to which i want to fall back into.
the streets i walked, the conversations i had, the places i sat and stared.
the thoughts i had developed back then. and the feelings i had felt.

but we are made to only keep moving forward.
stop dreaming.

cause i'm just another boy hoping for

here's the concept: one death, another rebirth.
another person through the door, another person walking in.
an endless cycle of re-occurance.

this time, i want it to halt.
i want you in.
i demand you in.

with a starbucks in my hand.

watching and waiting; i see people in suits and ties. walking and talking.
all a part of the system.

the more i'm stuck in traffic, the more i realise, this is not where i want to be.
i want leaves, walkways, paths, buses and trains. tickets in my hand; a cup of coffee in the other.

with my headphones on; travelling distances. making moves.
seeing trees change colours and feel winds i've never felt before.


i want some form of solitude, yet have you to come home to.
i want more than this, more than just traffic jams and work.

i am miserable. edging to thoughts of being depressed maybe.
i see people leave on jetplanes far too many times, while i watch through windows as they fly by.
i see them live.

driving, i see development around me. buildings, roads and flyovers. many flyovers.
thinking that we can soar through this way; no.
i have said too much.

to cap it all off:

we have so much around us, yet so little of ourselves today.
or maybe, that's just me.

hi, i'm fei. and i'm sad.

this is life.

and it is beautiful.

in the midst of all the chaos you see, hear and experience.

it is beautiful.

remember.

sing sing sing

when you sing, i fall into a trance.
and believe that you were made for this.

here i am.

in this empty room is where i lay.

deprived.
stuck.
alone.

stop holding me back. stop pulling me over.
i want out. i want out. i want out.

i want out. i want to breathe a different air. to see a different sun. love a different moon. taste a different meal.

i want out
i want out.
i want out.
why am i here.
i am depressed.